Photo by Hannah Skudlarek

ENHS student sitting in the corner thinking. This student is sad and needs someone to talk to in this hard moment in their life.

Everyone will deal with grief at some point in their life, whether it is from a break up, loss of a loved one, or even missing a moment they will never be able to go back to.

The five stages of grief are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. As a teenager, going through any of these stages can be hard, especially when trying to speak up and say how they really feel. This can lead to the build up of thoughts in one’s head and ignoring them until everything comes out at the same time.

Grief comes and goes and it can be triggered at the most random moments, like from hearing a song or seeing an animal that reminds you of someone who has passed. It can trigger sadness that may not go away for hours or even days. 

“ People don’t understand that there are stages and that they’re going to feel different things at different times,”   School Counselor Sabrina Ayalya said. 

DENIAL

Denial in the five stages of grief is described as the disbelief and shock after something happens. 

My family lost one of our friends last March. It was one of the hardest things I have ever gone through or seen my family go through. At first, I was in denial of what had happened, but then I realized that it was real life. That realization was very hard to comprehend and still is as I still get waves of sadness when I look back at pictures of our families together. The best way I learned how to grieve the loss was by being with my friends; We talked about all the happy things we would do together and remembered him in a happy way.

ANGER

Anger in the five stages of grief is described as being frustrated with the situation happening and projecting it on others.

“It’s definitely easier to stay in the relationship, because you feel comfortable,” junior Anna Real said. “Sometimes that’s not always the best idea.”

Dating a person that always wants to argue can lead to anger. If all that happens in the relationship is arguing it is hard to want to stay in the relationship. These arguments can be one person not trying hard enough and just wanting to break up for no reason. This can lead to people having unfinished thoughts after breaking up, causing anger because they aren’t sure what happened and what caused the breakup.

BARGAINING 

Bargaining in the five stages of grief is described as the thoughts of the “what ifs” or “if only”, the outcome of something was different.

“The hardest part would be having to sit out for a long time and watching my teammates dance,” senior Loghan Every said. “I’ve been dancing for so long, and I’ve never had to sit out for so long because of an injury.”

As a competition dancer, I always think I can do better. Placing in the top five for my solo is amazing in everyone’s eyes, but in my mind, there are always more steps I can take to get a higher score and improve. That thought will always be in the back of my mind when something does not go right in a dance. In a big group dance if I mess up I always think about “what if I performed better for my team so we could have done better as a whole.”

DEPRESSION

Depression in the five stages of grief is described as always feeling sad and hopeless.

“The hard part was not knowing what specifically had gone wrong,” Evert said. 

In middle school I had a huge group of friends. One day, we split and some of my best friends who I had been friends with since kindergarten would not speak to me. It was one of the hardest things to go through as a middle schooler. School was already stressful enough, and the last thing I needed was my best friends not talking to me and acting like they hated me. 

My friends and I, who were not talking, would go to the principal’s office at least once a week, crying, because of mean things said. I had a very hard time staying motivated to go to school and activities during this time. All I wanted was for it to stop and us to all become friends again.

ACCEPTANCE

Acceptance in the five stages of grief can be described as coming into reality of a loss and coming to terms with it.

“To feel what they’re feeling and realize that there’s not a right or wrong way to grieve,” Sabrina Ayala said. 

My aunt passed away when I was 12, and at the time, I was very nervous to go visit her in the hospital because I did not want to accept that she was going to die. She had died and I never got the chance to see her. I was left with nothing but happy memories of her forever. I still have not fully accepted that she has died, but thinking about her makes me happy instead of sad now.

Grief is not something that people can get over easily. Everyone carries it very differently and it has no timeline. The order of the stages happens differently for everyone. Grief is simply the heart and mind trying to understand a loss or hard time in a person’s life that may be difficult for them to accept.